Saturday Morning From (the Not So) Rough

Saturday Morning From (the Not So) Rough

Well… this is uncomfortable.

I’m sitting at home on a Saturday morning with absolutely nothing to complain about, and frankly, I don’t know who I am anymore.

Yesterday I found my golf swing.

Not “I should quit my job and join the PGA Tour” found it. More like, “Sweet baby Jesus… THAT’S where you’ve been hiding, you little bastard.”

I’ve spent enough money on lessons, gadgets, YouTube videos, alignment sticks, golf balls, gloves, range buckets, and emotional support bourbon that finding my swing should’ve come with a damn rewards program.

Of course, because golf is a manipulative little cult, it’ll probably ghost me by the back nine next weekend. But TODAY… today we’re in a committed relationship.

The Jeep is home.

I’m home.

Jan is home.

It’s hotter than Satan’s smoker outside, so we’re staying put, firing up the grill later, and pretending we actually enjoy humidity.

America turns 250 today.

It’s also my birthday month… and I would appreciate everyone treating that with the same level of respect they show federal holidays.

Then there’s the book.

I’ve officially reached the stage where I’ll do literally anything except edit it.

I’ve organized my desktop.

Checked the weather.

Looked at golf clubs I don’t need.

Thought about taking a nap so I’d be rested enough to avoid editing later.

At this point I wouldn’t be surprised if I started alphabetizing the spice rack just to keep from opening Chapter One.

The sad part?

I already wrote the damn thing.

Who knew writing an entire book would be easier than fixing commas?

Life is weird.

A year ago I wasn’t sure I’d be around for another Fourth of July.

Today my biggest problems are wondering if my golf swing is real, figuring out what’s going on the grill, and convincing myself that Microsoft Word isn’t somehow haunted.

I’ll take those problems every single time.

Happy Saturday, my friends.

Happy 250th birthday, America.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have exactly three responsibilities today:

1. Edit the book.

2. Grill meat.

3. Remind Jan every 20 minutes that I found my golf swing yesterday until she files for divorce or starts charging me by the sentence.

Happy Saturday from the not so rough.